Questions rose in my head as i was on my way back home today…
Was today a good day? Was i living well? Or just another day wasted?
I mean, i got my excercise i love that, but.. Isn’t life just more than just excercising, playing games, or just lazing around.
I mean, everyday passes so fast, when you know it, after monday you’re already in thursday then, the next thing is, you’re in sunday. Its crazy, i mean, i get 24 hours a day to live a life pleasing to God. Its hard! 24 hours passes so fast. In the morning im playing my guitar in church the next thing i know, im at home at night thinking of the next day. I mean, in those 24 hours have i been just wasting it?
This feeling started off when i thought, ‘ everyone else around me is having such a great time, relationships, going oout with friends, having great times, things to talk about. aand sometimes i feel like i just left the world for a day or two totally cut off.. I mean it hurts, but i try to find my ppeace in God.
I mean i havent had a relationship in 3 years cause i don’t want to simply just go into relationships and break in like, what a month or two, i mean sometimes i feel like… i just want someone to hold tight in my arms, to hug, and to love.
And then there’s this little voice in my head saying, Calvin, find you peace in me, find your love in me, that everlasting love. One day, ill bring that person. Then i remember God’s everlasting love for me. But these thoughts in my head keep on hitting me again and again.. and the same thing happens and i thought today, God has been helping me to overcome this stupid loniness, and what have I been doing? just going on and forgetting everything that he did. this is human nature, we fail to remember God that is such a faithful God, he comforts us in our hard times, and helps us through when we fall in that pile of shit. He picks us up, he cleans us and puts us back on our feet, and what do we do? Forget!
Disturbing are these thoughts in my mind..
More reason to ask God, whether i am living a life pleasing to Him..
In a calvin-cubical.
Calvin.
